Of Two Minds

When the light reaches through

My heavy-lidded sleep

I lay still a sec or two;

Will I smile today, or weep?

 

On days of the first

I plan, I work, I do.

An energetic burst;

But days like this are few.

 

On days that feel the latter

I put on a brave face

I fill my day with chatter,

My effort leaves no trace.

 

I have thought to reach for aid

But don’t know how to express

How parts of me fade;

How each day is less and less.

 

Who could know this blight?

Who sees through the smoke?

Who would know I’m not all right?

Who sees I hide behind each joke?

 

When the light reaches through

My heavy-lidded sleep

My mind get it’s on-cue.

Which mindset will it reap?

 

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Don’t Say

Not to speak

Words that hurt

Yet dreaming softly

Of the dirt.

 

Bound up tight

Stress and fear

An urge I fight

Still lingers here.

 

I am at war

My smile: armor

My silenced core

Plays the charmer.

 

I’m lost inside

Don’t know my way

My compass fried;

Lost to the fray.

 

I know the prize

That hides within.

I keep my soul;

If I can win.

 

*note: this is one that was written a few weeks ago by hand, I just finally typed it up.