All right, It took a bit of finagling, but the Kindle edition of Tilted Tales is live. Feel free to order a copy. If you do, I would be eternally grateful if you left a review. Click on the picture below to find it on amazon:
Happy Holidays, Reader.
Now, to those of you who get upset about saying “happy holidays” instead of “Merry Christmas”, I will point out that there are many other religions practiced in our country, and around the world besides Christianity. There are several religious holidays that occur this time of year. I celebrate Christmas, however I do know people who celebrate other deeply spiritual holidays, and just because our beliefs differ doesn’t mean I wish them any less peace, joy, and love. Oh, and BTW that “happy holidays” induces New Year, just in case I don’t see you.
People really get in a tizzy about how you phrase your well wishes during the month of December, and that upsets me. I just wished you good will, don’t criticize the form. You are not going to suddenly forget Jesus because I didn’t mention him by name. And if you want to wish me a Merry Christmas, I will say it back, right after saying “thank you.” There is enough cruelty and ugliness in the world people, lets not attach it to the one nice thing we say to one another that breaches our differences.
Sorry, I know I got all preachy and political on your for a spell there, but I’m done now.
As you know, I published Tilted Tales to Amazon.com via CreateSpace. It was not overly difficult to do, and they give you plenty of instructions/advice. Even so, I had a little help with the formatting from my previously published friend, and I leaned so much from her during the process. But, as with any first time project, I learned some things not to do the hard way. I’m happy to share it now.
1. If you are working under a deadline, give yourself at least a month to edit and proof your copies, so you are certain the final project is everything it can be. I was pushing for a Christmas deadline, and I feel like a mistake or two I made might have been caught sooner, or avoided, had I not felt so rushed.
2. Don’t trust the color balance on the digital proof- ordering a physical proof is an absolute must. I ordered bookmarks from Gotprint.com, and the color balance on my cover image was perfect. I (wrongly) assumed that meant the digital image was perfect, and I submitted Tilted Tales without getting a hard copy- after all, it was already printing out correctly, right? Wrong. Different printers have different color balances. I have discovered that Amazon.com’s printers are about two shades darker than the ones at gotprint.com. I ended up having to resubmit and order new proofs of a lightened image. Don’t make my mistake.
3. PDF files do not convert well to Kindle format. You will note that the Kindle edition of my book is not up yet- that is because I am still working on getting the correct format. When submitting your manuscript, you will need to save one file as a PDF, and one in HTML. Now, if your version of Microsoft Word is older than 2010, you will not have this option in the drop down menu in the save as window. There is an alternative option. Google docs has the option to save your document this way, however you will have to fiddle with the formatting a bit. Also, the file name of your manuscript does show across the top of every page, so I recommend naming the file by the title of your book so it reads like a header. I also recommend buying a newer edition of Word. I certainly will.
If you take only one piece of advice from me, then let it be this: Take your time, check everything twice. Your book is your baby- you worked very hard to complete your manuscript. Don’t cut corners at the moment when you need to shine.
All right reader, I know I’ve been all-consumed with my book, and seriously neglecting my blog updates. Well Nevermore! Okay, that’s probably not true. I’m certain some other project will ensnare me, and off I will be again to neglectful blogger land. But until that spark flies, I have prepared for your reading pleasure, a poetic letter to Santa Claus. Enjoy!
Oh Chris Kringle, Santa Claus,
Please bring me some tiny paws!
A fuzzy tail that waggles fro,
So I, too, can HO HO HO.
A little nose cold and wet,
I’ll go with ‘em to the vet!
I’ll buy kibble and a bowl
please come make my young heart whole.
Santa please bring me a dog,
I promise I won’t be a hog.
I’ll stop burning sister’s hair.
I’ll play tag the right way, fair.
Please, oh please, I want a mutt!
I won’t kick my brother’s butt.
I know the eve’s a ways away,
But could you come without delay?
With a dog I’ll never pout
If dear old Ma serves a sprout.
Hurry, hurry eight reindeer,
She’s cooking broccoli in here!
I send this wish most sincere,
Sent from me, coal list last year.
Three short months of writing felt like five minutes, especially toward the end. I am satisfied with the results, though if I am completely honest, the journey was a harrowing, albeit rewarding experience.
Inspiration for this project stemmed from a summer poetry book my writing group put together, A Tapestry of Verse. I thoroughly enjoyed working with my friends and fellow poets, and the inspiration to write more poems did not stop with that publication. Fun ideas were rolling around in my brain, begging to be let out. Up until that point I was focused on completing my novel, but my brain set it aside for a while to become poetically obsessed.
To exorcise this fixation I devised a challenge that would keep me focused and motivated while still aiming at a short deadline so that I could return to my novel. In hindsight I see that I was entirely overzealous and impractical. Creativity takes time and finesse, and anything rushed out for the sake of speed will not be worth publishing. I did not meet my own challenge, so technically it was a fail.
I will not pepper you with excuses, but I will say this: Life came at me from every angle, my own health included. After everything, I was getting a bit sick of producing poem after poem, many of which that I didn’t even like. Still, The concept behind Tilted Tales was important to me. I began to put off writing. I did have creative ideas, but rhythm and rhyme were evading me. That is when (after some encouragement from my very supportive husband) I decided to manifest those ideas in the form of short stories. Ultimately, this was the right way to go. So the end result of Tilted Tales contains both the poems that I am very pleased with, and the short stories that I felt fit with my theme.
Something both wonderful and frightening occurred during the end stages of completion. I had several people in my writing group clamor for copies of Tilted Tales in time for Christmas. This is the highest praise I could possible imagine receiving. To have people seeking my very first book before I’ve finished it was both exciting and surreal. It was also terrifying. My deadline to be done writing had just become my deadline to have the published book in my hand. That shaved precious weeks off my time to write, and I had already been put behind schedule by life’s little uncertainties. I sheepishly admit that the computer simulated ink wasn’t even dry on the last short story before it was strategically placed in the last section of the book, on the day I submitted it to CreateSpace. It would not have been possible at all without the last-minute editing help of my brother Izlain at Me vs. Myself and I, and my friend, Jazzy.
With Tilted Tales submitted and approved by CreateSpace, and my copies merrily on their way to my front door, I now wait for the anticipated moment when my book is in my hand. Until then, I will endeavor to figure out how to make my PDF file Kindle friendly, and try not to clobber the post man in hopes of seeing my beloved tome.
If you are interested in ordering a paperback copy of Tilted Tales, you can find it HERE. All proceeds will go to the Ashmo Needs A Car foundation. (there is no foundation, I just like money.)